Pieces
by No Wishing on the Never Star
Summary: Alex gets a call that she has been waiting for. It took two years but she's back and hoping to rekindle her relationship with a certain brunette. Will it happen? Will they both get over their insecurities? Contains Femmeslash
1. Surprise

The whole topic of EO, I believe, is highly overused and other pairings need to be shown no matter what type of sexual orientation.

The song belongs to Hoobastank.

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flashback starts

_I'm walking with my lover when I feel this unbearable sharp pain shoot through my shoulder. I stumble __back a bit before my lover catches me right as I start to fall. She gently lays me on the pavement. I hear __her scream and cry histerically. I feel like I want to die. But I can't give up knowing I might be with her in the __end. "Al, please don't give up. Stay with us honey, help will be here soon. God, I love you so much!" __my lover says as she lovingly holds my head off the pavement. I want to kiss her and tell her I love her __too, but I can't move much. I whisper "I love you" to her right before I pass out and everything's blank __from then. _

flashback ends

I'm now sitting in my new home in Ohio. God, it's so boring and I miss her so much. I miss how her warm skin feels against my hands, her lips on mine, her sweet soothing, husky voice running through my head. I sit here on my new couch and sob quietly to myself. I cry constantly, everyday. I cry myself to sleep at nights. Not feeling her body on mine or beside me at nights is unbearable, and it hurts. I just want to go back home. I want to kiss the brown-haired, brown eyed detective and tell her over and over again how much I missed her and how much I love her.

I dry up my tears and get up to turn the radio on, hoping it would calm me. As I lay down on the couch, a song comes on. And it couldn't be more perfect. I start to sing along.

_Turn around and pick up the pieces._

_I, like a rock, sink. _

_Sinking 'til I hit the bottom._

_The water is much deeper than I thought._

_Nothing to swim with._

_Kicking but I keep sinking._

_A lesson that no one could ever taught._

_'Cause I can almost breathe the air right_

_beyond my fingertips._

_I'll turn around and pick up the pieces._

_One more push and I'll be there,_

_back where I belong._

_I'll turn around and pick up the pieces._

She's my air. I need her to live. She's so close to me, yet so far away. Suddenly my phone rings. I'm afraid to answer but I do it anyways. Hammond's on the other end. "Alex, you're free to go. Go back home. We caught Velez. He was getting ready to shoot your um..._friend_ Olivia but Elliot shot his ass down. Bye." He hangs up and I follow suit.

It takes me a minute to register what he just said. _I'm free? I can go back home!_ I'm coming Olivia.

_I see the picture. Blury but now it's in focus._

_A fairy tale I purchased on my own._

_I finally wake up. Everything is better._

_A chance for me to open up and grow._

_'Cause I can almost breathe the air right_

_beyond my fingertips._

_I'll turn around and pick up the pieces._

_One more push and I'll be there,_

_back where I belong._

_I'll turn around and pick up the pieces._

I'm sitting at my computer trying to find the quickest flight out of Ohio to New York, but every seat is taken. The nearest flight is in a week. I'm not going to call Olivia to tell her I'm coming home, I want to surprise her. I'll just have to wait.

_Sufficating. Sinking further almost everyday._

_Barely treading water knowing I will not give up._

_I will not give up..._

_'Cause I can almost breathe the air right_

_beyond my fingertips._

_I'll turn around and pick up the pieces._

_One more push and I'll be there,_

_back where I belong._

_I'll turn around and pick up the pieces._

I change into my pajamas and lay down in my new bed. I can't sleep because I keep thinking about you, Olivia. Thinking of how beautiful you are, how much I love you, how good you feel against my body, how your sweet kisses taste. I'm cominghome.

_'I'm finally coming home, Olivia. I don't have to hide anymore_. _I can just feel your skin beneath my hands, beneath my __body. Your full, kissable lips against my own, your warm lips against my neck. I can feel you shortish mahogany colored hair __when I run my hands through it. We can finally get married like we were talking about and I'm sure we can adopt that little baby __girl, Camryn. Even though she'll be turning two this year. I know how you feel like you're going to fail as a mother, but I know __better. You're the most amazing lover and I know you'll be a great mother. I love you, Olivia and I'm coming home to be with you. __It's been two years, but I still love you, Livvie. You told me that you'd wait for me to come home, but now you only have to wait one more __week. We've lost two years but we have forever to make up for it.'_

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R&R, if you want me to continue then leave me a message or review and ask. Again, the song belongs to Hoobastank


	2. A Week Later

Chapter 2 A Week Later

_**Bold italics translate what was previously said in French.**_

The song is by Savage Garden called Crash and Burn

Olivia's P.O.V.

I'm sitting at my desk reminiscing about Alex. _'God, I miss her so much. I never thought I could love someone that much, or be loved. I feel __like I want to give up and die, it's that horrible without her. I can't die because I know she's alive. Only Elliot and I know this_ _and it hurts __that I have to lie everyday, about how she is supposed to be dead. I wish...'_

I didn't get to finish that thought because a guy came in holding a big bouquet of roses asking for an 'Olivia Benson'. I stood up and walked over to him, and introduced myself. He handed me the roses and walked out of the squad room.

I was speechless. No one has ever bought me roses. I walked back to my desk and gently sat the bouquet down on top of the case file, grabbing the notecard from the center of the bouquet. I opened it and inside it read:

__

_**Read this aloud**_

_**"When you feel all alone**_

_**And the world has turned its back on you**_

_**Give me a moment to tame your wild wild heart**_

_**I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you**_

_**It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold**_

_**When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore**_

_**Let me be the one you call**_

_**If you jump I'll break your fall**_

_**Lift you up and fly away with you into the night**_

_**If you need to fall apart**_

_**I can mend a broken heart**_

_**If you need to crash and burn**_

_**You're not alone**_

_**When you feel all alone**_

_**And a loyal (girl)friend is hard to find-(literally)-**_

_**You're caught in a one way street**_

_**With the monsters in your head**_

_**When hopes and dreams are far away and**_

_**You feel like you can't face the day**_

_**Let me be the one you call**_

_**If you jump I'll break your fall**_

_**Lift you up and fly away with you into the night**_

_**If you need to fall apart**_

_**I can mend a broken heart**_

_**If you need to crash and burn**_

_**You're not alone**_

_**'Cause there has always been heartache and pain**_

_**And when its over you'll breathe again**_

_**You'll breathe again**_

_**When you feel all alone**_

_**And the world has turned its back on you**_

_**Give me a moment please**_

_**To tame your wild wild heart**_

_**Let me be the one you call**_

_**If you jump I'll break your fall**_

_**Lift you up and fly away with you into the night**_

_**If you need to fall apart**_

_**I can mend a broken heart**_

_**If you need to crash and burn**_

_**You're not alone"**_

_**"Guess what..."**_

"I'm back, baby," someone finished. I know that voice anywhere. I turned around to face the entrance and couldn't believe what I saw. Alex was standing there will a huge smile on her face. I walked over to her, not believing what I saw. I reached out and touched her face, caressing her firm jaw line with my thumbs.

"God, baby. Is that really you?" I asked, hoping and praying I wasn't dreaming.

"Yeah, Liv. It's me, honey," the blonde murmured. I gave her a big smile and wrapped her in my arms, pulling her as close as I could. Lifting her into the air I kissed her, to which she deepened. "You don't know how much I missed you; missed this," I mumbled against her soft, full lips. I gently put her back down.

"I think I know," she replied.

I didn't realize this, but Cragen had been standing there in his office's doorway with a smile on his face. I looked at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him to let me have the rest of the day off since I had all my work done and no one had come in all day. He waved us off after he gave Alex a big hug and a "Welcome back, Alexandra."

I grabbed her warm hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Caressing her knuckles, I leaned in beside her ear and whispered, "I love you." She giggled and turned her head towards my ear and whispered, "I love you too."

We shared a smile before venturing off to my car; Alex had taken a cab.

Olivia's P.O.V.

I shut my apartment door and turned towards Alex, who had entered the apartment first. As soon as I turned around I was pushed up against the door. She had my hands raised above my head and her mouth hungrily sought out mine in a feral manner. And I wasn't complaining. She tilted her head and deepened our kiss, which lasted until she trailed kisses down my throat to my neck. She began to mercily suck, nip, and lick my pulse point which made me moan in pleasure. "I don't remember you being this dominate," I commented breathlessly. I felt her smile in to my neck. "I wasn't. But things changed," she mumbled into my skin, "for the better," she added as an after thought.

"Ohhh godddddd," I moaned passionately when she began to nibble on my earlobe.

Slightly pushing her off me, I grabbed her hand and quickly led her to my bedroom.

**2 Hours Later**

I rolled over on my stomach and looked over at my sleeping lover. God, Alex and I always had mind-blowing sex; still do. I buried my face into my pillow and smiled. It smelled like Alex. _God, she is so fucking incredible. No one has ever made me scream or moan more than she has._

I gently threw my arm around Alex's exhausted, sleeping form and tucked my hand under her body by her bare breast, falling asleep almost immediately.

**An Hour Later**

Alex's P.O.V.

I turned my head to see my beautiful lover sleeping. _All that sex has made her exhausted_, I thought with a smirk. _That was so fucking phenominal. _

I felt her stir slightly, slowly opening her dark honey coloured eyes and she looked up at me. "God, I've been gone too long. I almost forgot how fucking great you are," I murmured into her hair, pulling her in to a hug. She smirked and replied, "That was the best sex I've ever had, Al."

I smiled and slowly got out of bed, heading for the bathroom. "Come on! Let's take a shower while we're already naked," I pleaded with her playfully, but serious at the same time. "I'm coming Alexandra!" I giggled and retorted, "That's what you said--screamed--about an hour ago." She blushed and gently pushed me into the bathroom, stepping in and closing the door.


	3. Alex's Unexpected Twist

**Chapter 3**

Olivia's P.O.V.

We were sitting on the couch in the front room watching a movie. I hugged Alex's body closer to me as she buried her head in to my shoulder. "Hey, honey. Whatever happened to Camryn? She should be almost 3 by now," the blonde asked randomly. She's talking about the little girl we were thinking of adopting before she was forced into WPP. The very thought of Camryn brought tears to my eyes. I tried not to talk, for that would alert Alex of my crying.

She must've felt my body shake from the sobs threatening to escape my body because she looked up in to my eyes. I self-consciously turned my head away, blinking back the annoying tears. "Sweetie, what's wrong? What happened to--" Alex had started but I cut her off.

"She's dead," I whispered, my voice soft and full with emotion. I looked over at her and saw that she had started crying. I pulled her into a reassuring embrace. "Sshh, it'll be OK baby," I murmured hoarsly.

After about 10 minutes of her incessant crying, she shrugged out of my embrace to look into my eyes. "H-how did it h-happen?" She questioned, her voice unstable and her bottom lip trembling. I gently hugged the side of her head to my chest and sighed deeply, "You know how she was sick before you were forced to leave? Always puking and weak-looking? Well it turns out she had severe leukemia. She died within a month of your absence," I explained, using the tone I use with victims; trying to stay strong for my lover. "Oh, Olivia. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you, us, get through this," she murmured against my chest. "It wasn't your fault. You should get some rest, you look tired," I encouraged her softly. Nudging her towards the bed, I followed her in. I tucked her in and laid down beside her, hugging her close to my body. She laid her head against my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me even closer, feeling the contours of her body while rubbing her back to soothe her worries.

"Mettez-vous a l'aise," I mumbled to her sleepily. I had told her _**'Make yourself comfortable' **_in French; our language that only we know throughout the squad room. We speak in French when we want to say something private or say something 'dirty' in front of the squad: Elliot, Cragen, Fin, and Munch because they don't know any words in the French language. It's quite fun and amusing to see them trying to figure out our conversation only to fail. I felt her smile against my chest and reply, "Les beasux jours d'autre fois." _**The good old days. **_Sighing some-what happily, we both fell in to a deep slumber.

**The Next Morning**

Olivia's P.O.V.

I woke up to find the bed empty. Sighing, I got out of the warm bed, only to come in contact with a freezing cold floor. Gasping at the coldness, I quickly scurried to the bathroom to get in the shower. About 20 minutes later I step out with a towel around my body, shivering incessantly. I changed into a terry-cloth bathrobe, pulling the waist-belt tight around my middle. I padded my way to the kitchen only to find Alex making pancakes.

Believe me, this sight is very amusing; watching her move gracefully throughout the kitchen, almost like dancing. The sight of my etheral queen captivates me, making me gaze upon her. How her blonde hair glitters in the wonderous morning sunlight. How the sunlight dances off her delicate face causing her facial features to grow in excitement. I absolutely love watching her in her natural, calm state.

I feel bad when she is all weighed down by stress; her facial features seem to darken making her look as though she's "burned out." Our jobs are hard enough; looking at the crime scene photos, dealing with helpless children, dealing with victims and how much effort it takes to put their predators in jail. Our jobs take a little piece of you each and every case. And soon those little pieces accumulate into everything within you, causing you to "burn out," withdrawl from yourself and others. It's as though you are outside of yourself, your body, looking through watching yourself going through the motions of everyday life, not truly living persay.

I describe this so well because I know what it's like to live as though you are a zombie(A/N: sorry Alex! I didn't know any other way to describe it). I've felt myself withdrawl from myself and my squad-family for two years when my beau was forced to leave.

Alex looked up at me from the counter, noticing me for the first time since I've been standing there about 5 minutes and grinned. I smiled back and sauntered over to the blonde beauty and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder. I moved her long hair away from her neck and placed a kiss to her warm skin. She shivered slightly. Must have been from my cold lips. I started shivering from the cold wrapping around my body, plunging me in to a chilling coldness. Goosebumps rose to my skin on my arm.

"Avez-vous froid?"(**Are you cold?**) Alex asked in our language. Oh, how wonderful and sensual her voice sounds when she speaks in the French tongue.

"Ceci se passe de commentaire,"(**This speaks for itself.**) I replied, holding out my arm which was peppered with goosebumps still. Running her hand over my arm caused me to shiver in excitement. Turning around in my embrace, Alex gently threw her arms around my waist and pulling me closer to her. Laying her head on my terry-clothed shoulder, she sighed comfortably. "On ne demande pas mieux,"(**One couldn't ask for anything better.**) I murmured into her ear, after first blowing the familiar loose hair from her beautiful face, feeling her tremble beneath my touch.

"Voici ce dont il s'agit,"(**This is what it's all about.**) the beauty under me whispered.

"What do you mean?" I murmured.

"Life. This is what life is about. Being in the arms of the person you love; your one true love. Living together, waking up to you, sleeping in your arms, dreaming about you, wondering--hoping and praying--for a family complete with at least a kid, coming home to you every day after work Olivia," Alex breathed into my shoulder.

"Je suis d'accord,"(**I agree.**) I sigh with a feeling of completeness running through my body.

Untangling ourselves, we had a nice little breakfast and I phoned in and requested a little vacation time which, of course, was granted.

After breakfast we headed back to bed to lay down and have a talk.

Slipping in beside Alex, I covered us up. I was laying on my back and Alex was laying on her side facing me with her head on my chest. I brought me arm up to slide around her waist, stroking her hip lazily.

"So what was this talk about having a family complete with kids?" I asked curiously.

"Well...we was going to adopt Camryn but I had to leave, and now I want another chance at having a family with you."

"Melinda's friend could probably do an IN(V,F) on one of us," I offered.

"Elliot could be our sperm donor if he wants. He'd probably do it for us without hesitation," Alex explained.

"This is true. Elliot would do anything for us; he loves us like sisters," I added to the conversation.

We talked for 3 hours about how our future should turn out. We discussed children, jobs, retirement(when the time came), past experiences, and everything in between.

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R&R, Thanks! Again, sorry Alex for using zombies

Disclaimernot mine


	4. Alex's pain is Olivia's nightmare

Pieces Chapter 4

A/N: The song belongs to Edwin McCain. It's called "I'll Be"

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**Olivia's P.O.V.**

I woke up to hear the water running in the bathroom. With a grin, I got out of bed and padded my way to the bathroom hoping I could catch Alex in the shower to join her. Opening the bathroom door, my eyes slowly adjusted to the light. I looked over toward the sink where my precious Alexandra stood. Cocking my head to the side, I quickly realized what was happening; she was crying.

I raced over to her and wrapped my arms around her body, pulling her close to me. She turned in our embrace and sobbed in to my chest. "Oh God, Olivia! Why? She was so young!" Alex cried. I hugged her closer, resting my chin on her head, "I don't know, babygirl. I'd do anything to bring her back but it's impossible."

We stood there crying and questioned God(or whoever/whatever you believe in) for taking her away from us. For about 15 minutes, we stood there crying until we couldn't cry anymore. Alexandra lifted her head from my chest and looked up at me, "J'ai un mal de tete affreux." **I have an awful headache.**

Offering her a small smile, I gently scopped her tired body into my strong arms. I murmured into her long blonde hair, "J'ai votre affaire." **I have just the thing for you.** Carrying her into our bedroom, I gently laid her down on the bed. I covered her up and laid down beside her. I gathered her in to my arms as to spoon her body. As I spooned her, I gently laid my head on hers. I began to whisper-sing "our" song to her to lull her to sleep.

_I'll Be-Edwin McCain_

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful_

_Stop me and steal my breath._

_And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky_

_Never revealing their depth._

_Tell me that we belong together,_

_Dress it up with the trappings of love._

_I'll be captivated,_

_I'll hang from your lips,_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

_I'll be your crying shoulder,_

_I'll be love's suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older,_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life._

_And rain falls angry on the tin roof_

_As we lie awake in my bed._

_You're my survival, you're my living proof._

_My love is alive--not dead._

_Tell me that we belong together._

_Dress it up with the trappings of love._

_I'll be captivated,_

_I'll hang from your lips,_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

_And I've dropped out, I've burned up, you fought your way back from the dead.__**-(replaced 2 words "you, and "your" to fit the WPP part)-**_

_I've tuned in, turned out, remembered the things that you said._

_I'll be your crying shoulder,_

_I'll be love's suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older,_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your..._

_I'll be your crying shoulder,_

_I'll be love's suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older,_

_I'll be the greatest fan of your life._

_The greatest fan of your life._

_...greatest fan of your life._

I knew you were asleep; I felt your deep, even breaths against my warm body. When I ended the song, I kissed the back of your head. Voicing my love, I breathed, "I love you, Al. We'll get through this; I know we will. We have to..." Soon tears were flowing down my face freely, but I let them fall. I can't keep all of this emotion building up inside me.

If too much builds up, I could figratively blow up. I could emotionally hurt you, Alex. I love you more than anyone I've ever known. I'd give my life for you. I just don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, babygirl. I'd die before I hurt you.

I laid here and watched you sleep, babygirl. You looked so troubled; so afraid. I watched you closely, making sure you didn't cry. I hate when you cry; it tears me up inside. About an hour after you feel asleep you started whimpering helplessly. I pulled you closer to my body, holding you as close as I could to drive your unconscience demons away from your nightmare.

You continued to whimper, but you started to kick and fling your arms; trying to fight someone in your dreams or nightmare. When I pulled you closer you begun to fight harder. You kicked so hard the blanket fell to the ground. "Wake up, babygirl. Shhh, it's me, honey. It's Olivia," I whispered into your ear.

I kissed the side of your head lovingly. "Wake up, honey," I said a little louder this time. You woke up with tracks of tears running down your face, loudly screaming, "Help me, Olivia!" I felt so sorry for you; to see you hurting on the inside.

You turned to me and flung yourself into my arms, loudly sobbing into my shoulder. I rocked your body back and forth whispering words of encouragement into her ears while softly running my hand through your long blonde hair. "Shh, babygirl. What's wrong? What was your dream about, honey?"

It took you some time to calm down, but you shrugged out of my embrace. "Oh, god, Olivia! It w-was h-horrible!" you stammered in a scared voice. "Why was it horrible, baby?" I encouraged her softly.

"He wouldn't get off me. H-he w-wouldn't stop! He forced h-himself inside...Oh, god! I called out for you when it was happening but I remembered you were not there. I cried w-while h-he...I cried out for you. Every time I said y-your n-name h-he would s-slap m-me hard. I couldn't see his face; he was wearing a mask. But I recognized his voice, Olivia. It was Richard White. He hurt you through hurting me. I love you so much, Livvie!" you cried out.

By the time you were finished I was crying histerically. I looked at you with a look of horror on my face. "How dare he do that to you! That-that BASTARD! I'll fucking KILL him!" I growled passionately. I brought my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around my legs. I began to rock back and forth while crying into my arms. I cried so hard I thought I was going to have a headache from it for at least a couple of days.

"Liv, are you OK? I'll call George," I heard you say after a minute or two. I felt a dip in the bed and then I no longer felt your presence in the room. About five minutes later you came back in to find me in the same position. "Hey, Livia. George will be here in about ten minutes, baby." I heard you confirm.

True to his word, George showed up ten mintues later. He had his doctor's medical bag with him. I knew what was going to happen; I've seen it with overwhelmed victims. He was going to give me a sedative shot. He sat on the bed beside me after he asked Alex to leave the room.

He placed his hand on my arm; trying to comfort me. Like that is going to help.

"Olivia. Tell me what's wrong, sweetie" he encouraged me softly. We've gotten to know each other a little bit since Alex was in Witness Protection. I had appointments at least three times a month with him because of the situation. He knows how much I love you; that I'd do anything for you. He knows how broken inside I was; I am.

"It hurts," I replied weakly.

"Is it what Alex just told you?"

I nodded with my face still buried in my arms. Still rocking back and forth, I asked, "She told you?"

"Yes, Olivia. She wants me to help you. We both want to see you get through this," he replied.

"I-I couldn't protect her. I failed her twice! I-I...I'm not good enough for her! I couldn't save her from that gun or that bastard!" I cried out histerically. I felt arms wrap around my body. I smelled Alex's perfume surround me.

You laid her head against mine and replied in a lovingly manner, "Olivia! You ARE good enough! Hell, I wonder if I'M good enough for YOU. Me getting shot wasn't your fault, baby. You saved my life whether you want to admit it or not. If you hadn't applied pressure to my bullet wound I would've lost too much blood and I wouldn't be here. As for White, he wasn't your fault. No one could have known, honey. Sweetie, you're everything to me and you always will be."

You lifted your head from mine and whispered something to George. "Olivia, I'm going to give you a sedative shot. You'll feel a little pinch from the needle then you'll go to sleep, OK?" George assured me. "George, I've had a sedative shot before. I know how it feels," I confirm his silent suspicions politely. "Ok, Olivia. Here it goes."

"I love you Al..." I whispered to the blonde.

I felt a small pinch before I felt and saw blackness. My whole body was numb within minutes. I love this feeling; all the broken pieces within you feels like they're melting into one solid piece, like you aren't broken anymore. I laid down in a fetal position and fell in to a deep, dark blackhole. I was so out of it I didn't even notice that Alex and George had left the room to leave me to rest.

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R&R, please! If you review, I always thank you in a message when I can. Hope you enjoyed! -shout out to Alex-


	5. What George Says

Pieces Chapter 5

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**Alex's P.O.V.**

After we left Olivia to rest peacefully, George and I sat in the living room to talk. "George, is she going to be alright?" I asked with a forlorn expression.

"She'll be tired for a little bit. I gave her enough sedatives to make her sleep for 20-24 hours. That should give her enough rest," George advised me.

"Okay, but what about her emotional state?" I asked with a hint of helplessness laced through my voice. "Oh, well, it depends on how much support she has; how much love she feels. Just show her that you're there for her; that you love her no matter. Like, for example, holding her when she sleeps. Just be there for her and love her uncondionally. Explain to her that your shooting and rape wasn't her fault, that there wasn't anything she could do about it," George explained to me, "Just give her stability."

"Okay. I love her so much. If anything happened to her...," I started but trailed off. George nodded in an understanding. "Alex, are YOU going to be alright considering?" he questioned softly. I replied, "Yeah. I was seeing a psychiatrist in the Program. I've learned how to deal with the rape and shooting. It's in my past; I don't let it define who I am or who I'll be."

George smiled at my personal progress and congratulated me, "Good, Alexandra. You've made a lot of progress." I gave him a small smile and thanked him politely.

"I have to go, Alexandra. I'll talk to you later. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ring me," he said, excusing himself to go to his office for a scheduled appointment with his patient. We hugged and I thanked him again with a warm smile. I closed the front door and leaned back into the heavy oak.

I knew Olivia hated for people to see her vulnerable, but she let all guards and walls down as soon as she stepped through our front door; leaving work at the station. I'm used to both sides of Olivia; the fearless woman passionate and devoted to her job, and her other side which she only displays within her. I adore every side of her. She doesn't wear her heart on her sleeves, as they say, but I can tell when something's bothering her.

Right now, minus the effects of the sedatives, she feels worthless, disgusted at White, strained; her body oblivious to this. She feared my mortality had been increased, and Witness Protection didn't help the situation either. We slowly accepted Camryn's death, as horrible as it was. At least she went knowing she was loved. She absolutely hated my situation during Witness Protection for it was precarious; the way Velez covered his attachments to his group was stunningly meticulous.

I slowly padded my way into our bedroom. I crouched down to look at Olivia more closely, and I untangled herself from her fetal position. With a sad sigh, I dropped a chaste kiss to her forehead and got up from my crouching position. I carefully unclothed her delicious body. Clad in a bra and panties, I gave her normally strong body a onceover in a worried manner; noticing how her usually glowing skin was now pallid, her strong frame of body now gaunt and tired-looking. Covering her body up with the comforter, I whispered "I love you, sweetie. Please get better, baby, for me," to my love.

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R&R, hope you liked...? this was just a distraction until I could complete my other chapter(s).


	6. Insecurities

PiecesChapter 6 Insecurities

**Olivia's P.O.V**

_That was some nap._ I peered over the comforter at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table. _12:05 p.m.? That means I've been sleeping for a full twenty-four hours. At least I had some rest; it will do me some good. _

Sighing, I stretched my legs, trying to get the blood flow to return to normal. Rubbing the sleep from my limbs, I tentatively swung my legs over the side of our bed, coming in contact with the freezing cold floor. I glance in the corner of the room and I'm not surprised to see your "knock me down and fuck me" shoes carelessly thrown on the ground. I supress a giggle as I think of the times I've done just that.

I could hear the water in the bathroom start to run. With a sly grin, I eased my stiff body off of our bed and into the tiled bathroom. I closed the door, inevitably making my presence known to you, the gorgeous blonde sitting on the narrow edge of the bathtub.

As soon as I saw you, the past two days came mercilessly flooding back. What hurt me the most was that you, my babygirl, was violated in the worst way imaginable; sexually assualted because of me. Because of my job. Tears pooled in my chocolate coloured eyes as I lovingly gazed into your crystal blue ones. _It's like I'm staring into the deep depths of your forgiving soul._

Without a word, I strolled over to you. I carefully sat down on the narrow strip of porcelain. Gathering your lovely face in my naturally tan, gentle hands, I kissed your forehead. "I love you, honey."

Your smile was demure and polite. You act shy whenever I tell you that you're beautiful or that I love you. Why is that so? You have the most amazing lithe body that I've ever seen; the most deep cerulean blue eyes I've ever gazed into. Out of all my past lovers, you are the smartest, also. No, don't compare you to my past lovers. It's not right. They obviously can't compare to you, you're perfect.

As I leant forward, towards your lips, you pouted them a bit, out of habit. I was anxious with anticipation; I could tell this wasn't going to be just a kiss, this was going to be a kiss full of love and caring.

**Alex's P.O.V.**

I could not think properly after I felt your lips on mine. With each kiss you planted, you would lift your head, just out of my reach. I would lift my head only to barely miss your crimson lips. Once I lowered my head, you would kiss me. Your kisses so sensual, so loving.

Kissing you is about as intimate as I can get without actually making love to you. You, my brown-haired detective, are the most wonderfully thorough kisser I've ever had in my whole life, ever. When you kiss me, you take your time. You don't rush trying to get in to my pants, or skirt, as fast as you can. You hold me lovingly, caress my body with your gentle hands, kiss me passionately.

I could kiss you forever. With each kiss, it's like our very first one. When your smooth, gentle hands touch my body, it takes my breath away. I felt one of your hands leave my face, traveling upwards to grab a handful of my blonde hair, slowly pulling me towards you more. I brought my hands up from the side of the bathtub; one of them resting on your feminine curvy hip and the other caressing your thigh tracing agatizingly slow, small circles. You moaned in my mouth deeply, contentedly even.

I know what makes you squirm in excruciating ecstasy, and I use it to my advantage, which in fact, is your delirious torture. You know you love it when I take advantage of you in the bedroom. Hell, I love it when you take charge and control. This is something people don't think I'll allow, that I always have to be in control. But the fact of it is, I'm not like that at all. You, of all people, should know better.

I put up this... facade, if you will, so, in turn, I don't seem as weak as I really am. I can't be weak in the courtroom, the defense will pick up on it and rip me to shreds in everything I try to do. I have to be cocky, arrogant even, but in acctuallity, I'm quite the opposite at home. When I'm with you, my dear Olivia, I can be myself and be okay with that.

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

I hear your moan, felt it vibrate deep in my throat. My first rational thought is to turn the water off, pick you up in my strong arms, carry you to our bed and ravage you senseless. Without breaking our kisses, I struggle to reach over to the faucet, hoping to stay balanced, to not fall on my ass in the six inches of water in the bathtub.

I twist the handle off, inadvertently letting go of your blonde hair in my hand. I made sure I didn't pull your hair, I just used it to lower your lips to mine. We heard the shrill rings of the phone, but decided silently it was inconsiderable, trivial even, at this very moment to answer it. If it's important, they'll make sure to call again. You seem to get my soundless message because you pull my body closer to yours, like you can't get enough of my warmth against your supple body.

Your kisses are becoming more and more hungrier, like you're starving for me, for my body even. Errant strands of your long blonde hair tickle my hand as I brush them away from our faces. I shiver excitedly as I feel your nimble fingers weave through my short, spikey brown hair, massaging my scalp as you go. You know what that does to me, Alex. You know how good that feels. I sigh happily as I continue my ravenous appetite sought out on your luscious lips. The taste of your lips are intoxicating, driving me madly into a wonderfully delirious drunkeness.

I reach up with both of my hands as I cup your face, brushing the pads of my thumbs across your cheeks, slowly tracing your high cheekbones. I feel you tremble beneath my touch. I lift my lips from yours – I elucidate how much I love you, want you, desire you. Your eyes are dark and cloudy with arousal as you listen to my endearments. I hear your breath hitch temporarally as I speak. I long for your touch, for your caresses. You seem to be on the same track of mind because you return the endearments in the most sincerity and ferally crush your lips to mine in a painfully tormenting kiss, leaving me breathless. I'm surprised you were able to articulate your feelings back because you haven't spoken at all during these kisses, this make out session, if you will.

**Alex's P.O.V.**

I hear you voice your love to me. All I can think of, in this cloudy, foggy state that has become my mind as soon as our lips touched the first time, is how much I love you. I tell you such in an unfeigned honesty. I look into your eyes as they're turning dark and cloudy with arousal – just as mine probably are – and I see love and compassion. And I know... I know that's for me, and no one else.

It makes me wonder. Was Abbie Carmichael better in bed than I am? Do you compare me to her in everything I do? She got to you first, she has to be special, right? I let my insecurities get to me still, even though you tell me, and me only, I think, that you love me. Everyday, every minute, I would question your love for me in Witness Protection, I still do at times, it seems. Would Abbie find out about me and come back to you from Washington DC? Sweep you off your feet and into her waiting arms? As I'm thinking of all this, you tell me that I'm the only one you've ever be in love with and that'll never change. I stifle a sigh, I trust you, I have to trust you. I believe you, I believe in you.

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

After you tell me your endearments, I sense a change in your attitude. Always remember, I'm a Detective, I can sense something not everyone can, for instance, your moods. You seemed to be deep in thought despite our intimate kisses. I know what you're thinking, and I know you let your insecurities get the best of you. I break our kiss, to honestly tell you, "You're the only one I've ever been in love with and nothing'll ever change that." I delve into your misting eyes, silently searching for your expression, searching for the information that you keep secret, your uneasiness about the thoughts that are forming in your head.

Is this an Abbie thing? You know that she was nothing to me, nothing but a past fuck-buddy. As soon as I met you, I broke off our fuck-buddy relationship, actually friendship. That's the real reason she moved to Washington DC, she knew she couldn't compare to you, that you'd win my heart when she knew she couldn't.

You – you're everything to me. Why else did I wait for you to come back to me when you were sent away in Witness Protection. If I had wanted to, I could've been with Abbie. But I didn't, you know. I only want you. Abbie, she was okay in bed, but you? You're incredible, teasing me mercilessly, but all in all, for a good cause. You have to know that, you have to trust me, trust our relationship. I can tell you're contemplating about all of this in your head, but why? Why would I be here with you if I didn't love you?


	7. Thoughts

Pieces Chapter 7

**Alex's P.O.V.**

My head is softly pillowed against your breast as you pick me up in your steady embrace. I feel your arm under the back of my knees, holding me up, and your other arm tucked under my armpit, softly cradling my body against yours. I hear your heartbeat vibrate through your supple, solid body.

The beat drumming through my ears is lulling me to a sense of safety. I feel safe in your arms. Why is this so? My past lovers never made me feel this safe. Is it because you're one of New York's finest? Because you're a female NYPD Detective cop who can kick any man's ass in the blink of an eye? I don't have an explanation for all this love I feel for you. The attraction, simply... look at yourself. Who wouldn't find you amazingly gorgeous? Who wouldn't fall for you? Your short brown spikey hair is so smooth and amazingly soft against my nimble fingers. The blonde highlights, they make your hair shimmer just a little bit more. It's so fascinating.

You seem to hypothesize about what I'm thinking, or rather fantasizing, because you give me that sexy loppy-sided grin when you look down at me. God, you're so beautiful, and I tell you as much. You blush at my sincere compliment and avoid eye contact. "Why do you think you're not beautiful? You have the most amazing feminine curves, beautifully chiseled face, soft hair, sweet-tasting skin..." I could go on and on forever, but at some point I stop to give you a chaste kiss like I did just now.

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

Your head rests gently on my breast as I pick you up off the porcelain bathtub. You smile into my chest, into my skin. I feel the warmth of your body press into mine. I feel... happy, content, giddy to be holding you in my arms. Your head lolls around a little bit when I start to walk towards our bedroom, but I don't mind.

As I walk through the threshold, I hold you closer to my body, shielding you from hitting your head against the wood. We don't want that, now do we? You wrap your clothed arm around my waist, holding tight like you don't want to ever let go. I feel the same way when I hold you. You know that, right, babygirl?

I get to your side of the bed, the side opposite of the wall and window. I gently lay your delicious body atop the beige comforter, ever so softly so I don't hurt you. You know that I'd rather die than hurt you, right babygirl? I gently climb on top of the bed, slightly hovering above you. You look up at me with heavy lidded eyes, smiling mischeviously.

I smile down at you warmly, telling you that I love you more than anything. You seem able to articulate just fine because I hear you repeat those endearments, but adding "I want you right now," in a not suprisingly voice deep and husky with arousal. I couldn't agree more, I want you so badly. So badly that it's starting to hurt.

You sensually slide your delicate hand up my arm to the back of my head, weaving through my short hair. Wrapping your hand around the back of my neck, you pull me to your lips. I comply, kissing you fully on the mouth. I hear moans, but I'm not entirely sure who they came from. I pull away, feeling sad about the lost promiximity our lips had found themselves in.

My eyes travel the length of your clothed body. You must feel the intensity of my gaze because you tremble in anticipation. I hear you whimper when I start to press kisses to the side of your delicate neck. My fingers expertly unbutton your silk pajama top. Pleased to hear your moans as I begin to tease your exposed skin with the tips of my fingers, I patiently, gently even, slip your shirt off of you.

I trail the kisses to the front of your neck, nipping softly at your throat. Your moan was so low, so deep and guttural. Almost growl-like. I licked the dip at the base of your throat. You cup my face in your hands as you pull me toward your lips, kissing me with such thorough intensity. Heat travels through my body as you take control, dominating our kiss.

"Are you competent enough to stand this trial?" I mumble into your mouth teasingly. "Don't pull that lawyer shit with me right now, Olivia," you plead desperately. I chuckle and keep kissing you as you silently demand. And we spend the whole day making sweet, passionante love to one another, revealing secrets, talking about our old high school romances, and just loving one another.

----------

R&R, please. I know this chapter was short but I've been going through some tough times with my depression. I have to "come out" to my grandma and it's getting really hard to not cry. I actually cried myself to sleep last night... again. Okay, enough with my problems. I hope you enjoyed. BTW, this was just a filler until I can get on some 'happy pills' and get back to working through this story. Love you fans!


	8. Elliot's Trouble

Pieces Chapter 8

**Title: Pieces  
****Author: OLIVIAplusALEX4eva  
****Summary: Alex gets a call that she has been waiting for. It took two years but she's back and hoping to rekindle her relationship with a certain brunette. Will it happen? Will they both get over their insecurities? Lot more chapters to come! Contains Femmeslash.  
****Rating: Rated T, for now. May change to M for Mature  
****Genre: Drama / Romance  
****Warnings: Contains femmeslash between two consenting adult females.  
****Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine... yet +laughing evilly+ you didn't hear that laugh, got it? hehe**

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

Have you ever cried scalding hot tears? The kind that feel as though they could sear through your skin effortlessly? Your outer defense meconism? They burn running down your reddening cheeks, your quivering and slightly pouty lips. You feel them hit your arms when they drip from atop your nose.

Have you ever dealt with stinging eyes from the tears slipping through? It hurts especially when you've kept all your darkness and gloominess inside yourself to the point where you don't cry. You can't cry. You don't cry for anything until it's too much to bear, then you have no choice but to let it out.

You could be sitting there in public and you feel the unfamiliar stings beginning to start around your already misting eyes. And you can't take life anymore. Can't take the hurt, the sorrow, the heinous crimes and the hateful people. And you know that you have to let it go, have to let your purposely-kept-secret emotional side burst through your insides; burst through your false pride.

You have to deal. You have to let your brick wall you let your defensive side surround you break free, to crumble in impossible to put-back-together _pieces_, into ruins. You feel helpless, hopeless, and cynical towards anyone and anything that crosses your path on the wrong side.

Have you ever felt so depressed you never want to get out of bed and when you do, you don't have the energy to do anything you're supposed to? Have you ever felt the need to close yourself into a fetal position because that's the only way you feel comfortable; forcing the world to leave you alone, to leave you be.

You realize the world is frowning upon you. You are a waste of skin, of human. You don't belong, and you certainly don't deserve to. You know that your body was produced only because of a heinous crime, because of a violent sexual dominance of a woman by a horrible man not caring about his victim. When the other person says 'no' then it's not consensual. You stop, you aren't supposed to rape them. Leave them be, for the love of god.

If my unknown father had left my mother alone, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have to deal with pedophiles and sick bastards like him everyday. It hurts to know that my mother was a falling-down drunk because of me. She died because of me, because of how I was conceived. She drank herself into oblivion and fell down some subway stairs, right _after_ I "came out" to her.

She left me with so many unanswered questions, explanations. She left a deep void in me, he left an even bigger one. How dare he take advantage of my mother way back in her college days!

He caused her to drink, to have an unwanted child that she wasn't ready to mother just yet. He cause her death. The bastard needs to die, needs to pay for what he did. I'll be damned if I let him get away with it again.

I can't do anything about my mother's case because the Statue of Limitations is up, meaning it has waited too long to go to trial, but I can 'accidentally' check up on his sorry ass every now and then. To make sure he's staying 'out of trouble'. Haha, wishful thinking.

I don't get to finish my sinister contemplations because you reluctantly wake up. I smile down at you. "Good morning babygirl," I murmur, pushing your long blonde hair away from you hair, almost giggling when you shove your head tighter against my bare breast in reluctance to face the light streaming in from the window. You groan and reply, "Mmmm... what time is it?"

**Alex's P.O.V.**

I can sense a change in your posture easily. You let your body limp slightly against mine. You're behind me, spooning my naked body against yours. After a few minutes, your body tenses up and I can tell you are either thinking about a) work or b) your father.

I feel the urge to save yourself from your own dark thoughts. I pretend to wake up. Opening my eyes slowly, I was blinded by the light from the damn window.

I retreated further into your comfortable embrace and buried my head tighter against your bare breast. _I love you so much, sweetie._

You murmur, "Good morning babygirl," into my ear while moving my slightly matted hair out of my face.

I love it so much when you call me babygirl. I hate mornings, but waking up to you is my dream come true. I mumble against my pillow, "Mmmm... what time is it?"

You chuckle and turn your head to look at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table. "Noon," you reply with an amused sound in your tone.

"Go back to sleep with me," I plead.

You cluck your tongue in disapprovement and sigh dramatically, "Oh, Alexandra. What will I ever do with you?"

"I can think of a few things," I murmur seductively, rolling over to come face-to-face with your beautiful, bare breasts. I press a chaste, quick kiss to the firm, yet supple exposed skin that's in front of my face. I look up at you and tease, "Like helping me make lunch."

With that, I get up from bed and pad my way into the kitchen, still completely naked. I can feel your eyes, your stare, directed at my ass as I walk out of the bedroom, so I add a little sexy sway of my hips, hoping to entice you. _It worked_, I thought with a small smile when you follow closely behind me.

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

You ask what time it was and I told you "Noon."

"Go back to sleep with me," you begged sleepily.

I clucked my tongue, teasing you lightly. I sigh dramatically and reply, "Oh, Alexandra. What will I ever do with you?"

I stifle a giggle when you counter back in a voice thick with sleep, "I can think of a few things." You rolled over only to face my exposed breasts. "Like helping me make lunch," you tantalize me playfully.

You look up at me with a sleepy, demure smile. I grin contently down at you. _My god, you are so beautiful. How do I ever put this much beauty into words? Being with you feels so surreal. _

I close my eyes. As soon as I do, I feel a slight pressure pressed against my bare, uncovered breast. You pressed your full lips to my heated skin in a quick kiss.

You go even further to tease me by getting out of our warm, comfy bed to walk into the kitchen knowingly sashaying your hips sexily just for me. _I love when you don't wear clothes, Alex. Mmmm..._

My grin broadens more as I follow closely behind you like a lost, love-struck puppy dog.

I walk through the threshold of the kitchen and quickly scan the small room for you. I find you sitting on the kitchen stool leaning over the counter top with your back to me.

I walk up behind you and wrap my arms around your waist, giving the back of your head a quick kiss and resting my chin softly on top of your bare shoulder.

"Isn't the stool a little cold?" I ask curiously. You giggle like a little school girl and reply at a mere whisper, "You know it, babe. So why don't you warm me up?"

I scoot the stool back a bit and get in between you and the counter. I smirk when I feel your soft, gentle hands grasp my waist, pulling me gently down on your soft lap.

I lean back into your slender body, my head resting against your right shoulder. I tilt my head up slightly and give you a little peck on the lips.

She smiled softly and tilt your head down, pressing soft kisses to my throat. Nuzzling against my skin, you smiled softly.

I felt your hot breath on my throat, trailing up to my chin. Slightly nipping at my chin, you then drew me to you in a long, sensual kiss.

"I love you, babygirl," I whispered contentedly.

"I love you, too."

**Alex's P.O.V.**

We sat here for about five more minutes, Olivia still sitting on my lap with me nuzzling against her cheek.

We were thrown from our reverie by the shrill rings of the cordless phone which was sitting on the counter in front of Olivia.

You press the talk button and hold it up to your ear, "Cabot-Benson residence."

_"Liv! It's–it's Kathy_." the panicked voice on the other end replied breathlessly.

"Kathy, what's wrong? Is it Elliot? One of the kids?" I hear you question, worries laced through your panicky voice.

_"It's Elliot... He was... Oh god!"_

I lay my head against your toned back and listen to your heartbeat, feeling the vibrations from your voice through your naked body.

"Kathy, listen carefully. You need to breathe– in, out, in, out... there we go. Now, what happened to Elliot?" you try to walk Kathy through this, something that is obviously horrible.

_"El was raped. He was drugged by a man and raped in a warehouse during his shift last night. They found him with a faint pulse and a gun shot wound to his forehead. They said that the gun shot wound was self-inflicted, thank god it only grazed his temple. He tried to kill... to kill himself because of the rape."_

Your body stiffened and I felt goosebumps rise to your arms as I ran my hands down your arms, linking our hands together. "What's wrong baby?" I ask you.

"What hospital?" you ask Kathy, ignoring my question until later.

_"St. Peter's. Second floor room 211. He's under suicide watch twenty-four hours now. He keeps asking for you."_

"Okay, I'll be there in a hour," you half-whisper.

You hang up the phone and sit it face down on the counter. You get off my lap slowly, like you're in shock.

"What's wrong, babe?" I repeat my question from earlier.

"El's been raped. In–in a warehouse during his shift last night. He tried to..."

Thinking the worst, I blurted questioningly, "Tried to kill himself?"

You nod gently and I can see tears forming in your eyes. At least you're not trying to blink them back.

I'm proud of you for letting your emotions out, that you don't keep them hidden now. It takes a lot of courage to cry in front of people, even your girl-friend-practically-wife.

You're facing me standing up. Your chin is resting against your chest, that's how low you've hung your head. I stand up slowly, putting my hand over your naked shoulder. "Go to him, honey. Help him work through his emotions. You want me to go with you for support?" I ask.

You reply at a mere whisper, "No thanks. I need to do this alone. Elliot needs me: to listen, to support him, to love him, like a brother of course. I just need–I just need to help him alone right now. I'll be back sometime today. I love you, Alex," your voice hoarse with running emotions.

"I love you, too. Be careful on the way there and back. Go help him, Livia. I'll be waiting here for you when you return from the hospital," I dismiss you with a quick peck on the lips.

You turn to return to our bedroom. Ten minutes later you emerge fully dressed. You grab your badge, gun, and keys and quickly head off with one last kiss for the road.

----

Okay, so how was it? Remember, please R&R!(read and review). thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Suspense... Dun Dun Dunnnnnn...


	9. Solitary Existence

Pieces Chapter 9

Title chapter: Tattered and Torn

**Title: Pieces**

**Author: OLIVIAplusALEX4eva**

**Summary: Alex gets a call that she has been waiting for. It took two years but she's back and hoping to rekindle her relationship with a certain brunette. Will it happen? Will they both get over their insecurities? Lot more chapters to come! Contains Femmeslash.**

**Rating: Rated T, for now. May change to M for Mature**

**Genre: Drama / Romance**

**Warnings: Contains femmeslash between two consenting adult females. **

**Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine... just wishful thinking on my part.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

I have to stay strong... for Elliot. _For Elliot._

Standing outside Elliot's emergency room door, I take a minute to gather my bearings. Wiping the errant tears from my face, I knock on the door softly.

After a few seconds the door opens and Kathy is standing before me looking extremely pallid. I reach out and touch her shoulder, giving her much needed assurance. Contrary to popular belief amongst the squads, Kathy is one of our friends. Us being Alex and I.

Word around the police stations, I'm talking about everyone excluding Special Victims, is that Kathy, known as Stabler's wife, is jealous of me. Envious because Elliot and I are so close.

She knows that we love each other in a sibling sort of way. She knows that we have a close bond – a bond she'll never quite share with him, because we're not lovers and we'll never be – and she respects that.

She respects our partnership because she knows that's all it'll ever come to. Plus, it should ease her mind that I'm a Pussy-Chaser and not Strictly-Dickly. I made the mistake once – sleeping with Cassidy, mind you that I was completely wasted out of my mind – and he was the first _and_ last man I've slept with.

Besides, I've settled down with Alex and I find myself 100 percent contented with that.

Trying to keep a conforming look of fortitude, I walked into the room. Instantly I am blinded by the expected, familiar bright shade of white. White walls, white tiled floor, white bedsheets and blankets, even white curtains that were drawn closed to block out the intruding sunlight.

I look over at Elliot limply laying on the bed, asleep. I think.

His head is obviously bandaged and IV's are hooked up to his almost lifeless, exhausted-looking body.

The only lifelike movement from him is slightly laboured breathing. The expression written on his face is of pure aftershock; dark and shadowy.

Tears pooled in my eyes as I held Kathy's gaze. "How bad is his head injury?"

Kathy abruptly started sobbing and blindly reached out for my grasp.

I could tell her legs wouldn't be able to support her so I quickly strided over to her, wrapping my arms around her middle, purposely holding her up.

She buried her face into my chest, crying her eyes out. I rested my chin on top of her head and let my salty tears fall freely.

"The doctor said the wound to his head is serious, that he lost too much blood. They did a transfusion. The doctor left to examine his x-rays right before I called you. The doctor also said that he might go through a fugue," Kathy mumbled darkly, looking back towards Elliot.

She slowly pulled away, brushing the errant tears from her face.

"Elliot's a strong man. He'll get through it, Kathy. Don't you worry."

"Even if he does make it through he probably won't be able to work anymore. You might have to break in a new partner."

I don't say anything to this.

Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose, begging myself to keep my composure.

A heavy silence filled the stale room.

The only noises were annoying, high-pitched beeps coming from the life-support machine. Then again, as long as that particular machine keeps beeping, the longer Elliot lives, even if it be in a hospital.

I guided Kathy to a chair that sat just off to the side of the room and tried to comfort her by sitting on the arm of the chair rubbing Kathy's back while she cried silently.

Just as I got off the chair's arm, the doctor walked in.

"Mrs. Stabler?" Kathy stood up, wiping her tears.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Please call me Margaret."

"Okay, Margaret. So, how bad is it?"

Another sypathetic forlorn look, "He's in a deep coma; so deep that it's slim-to-none that he'll wake. He's in a terrible amount of pain, almsot unbearable. He has a collapsed lung, failing kidney, and he has had a stroke. The collapsed lung from, my guess, is being beaten whilest raped, and the failed kidney because of the low blood flow through the body before someone found him. I think the stroke was stress-induced and was a completely random attack," Margaret annouced softly, but professionally, "I know it's unprofessional for me to give advice to a patient's family but this is an extraordinary case. I think you should take him off of life-support. There's so much damage that he'll never recover, and if he does then he'll be in pain for the rest of his life, which it's highly doubtful that he'll even wake up to begin with." And with that, Margaret closed the door leaving us to deal with the news.

Kathy's hand flew up to her mouth in shock and her body began to tremble. I walked over to her and embraced her in a hug. She wrapped her arms around me and cried hot, scalding tears. I led her to the chair and laid her in my lap, her head resting on my shoulder.

She cried until she fell into an exhausted, fitful sleep.

I took the spared time to call and update Alex.

"Benson-Cabot residence."

"Al, baby, it's not good."

And so I filled her in, the gruesome details of my partner's – my best friend's – condition.

* * *

"Mrs. Stabler? Ms. Benson? Can you follow me, please," Margaret pleaded uncomfortably. 

We get up from the chairs seated in the hospital's lobby and follow Margaret into a deserted room quietly.

She puts a hand on Kathy's shaking shoulder and asks her to sit. Kathy and I comply, silently questioning the doctor.

With a sigh, Mararet answers our unvoiced concerns, "Elliot, Mr. Stabler, passed away ten minutes ago. He went in his sleep unexpectedly." Her voice falters, "T-there was nothing we could do; I'm sorry."

* * *

**Elliot's P.O.V.**

So... much... pain. Oh god. My head...

_Staring at the white above.  
__Can't tell if I'm alive or am I dead.  
__Or if it's in my head?  
__Where'd I go wrong?_

Where's the music coming from? Is it all in my head? Ah, blinding pain... so terrible.

_Staring at the white above one day  
__I closed my eyes and here I am.  
__A cold unhappy man.  
__I've come to realize the life I have I hate.  
__The pulse I need is slowly fading until I've lost it all.  
__I've been waiting for an inspiration.  
__For a chance I never got to take.  
__Before it's much to late.  
__Where'd I go wrong?_

Kathy?

Olivia?

Where's everybody?

Where am I?

Why does my head hurt so much?

_Where's the boy that used to run?  
__Could it be he's up and gone away?  
__He seems so far away. And all the things I could have done.  
__Could it be they've up and gone away?  
__They seem so far away.  
__It feels as if the boy in me has left and been replaced  
__with a cheap and bitter imposter of myself.  
__I must find the one that used to be.  
__Approach him slow don't be afraid to say,  
__"Can he come out and play?"  
__Where'd I go wrong?_

I'm so sorry, but I've got to let go, Kathy. I love you Kathy, Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie. I love you Olivia and Alex. You too, Fin, Munch, and Captain.

* * *

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

After I've dropped Kathy off at her house to stay with her kids I decide to head home. There's nothing left for me to do. There's nothing I can do.

I can't believe Elliot died...

He gave up. He let his life slip through his calloused hands. Why?

I always loved you, Elliot. You were my best friend, on a platonic-based relation, of course.

How could you leave me?

Leave us?

I'll never forget you.

_Kill Me  
Tattered and torn  
Something aches  
Tattered and torn  
Bad things slither  
Tattered and torn  
My floors are burning down  
Tattered and torn  
And I can't find a window _

Tears are freely flowing down my face as I'm driving. I leave them unchecked, not bothering to wipe them away.

What's the point?

_Tattered and torn  
This is medieval  
Tattered and torn  
This is cerebral  
Tattered and torn  
Suffocated  
Tattered and torn  
Melodramatic  
_

_Tattered and torn  
Driven to the verge of  
Tattered and torn  
I make you my enemy  
The nerves you sever  
Tattered and torn  
Can serve you better  
_

_Tattered and torn  
In the blink of an eye  
Tattered and torn  
In the space of a second  
Tattered and torn  
Open my wrists  
Tattered and torn  
Give me my lessons  
_

_Tearing myself apart  
From the things that make me hurt! _

Sighing, I turn the tuning dial to the radio and immediately find another song. Of course, it had to remind me of my life.

Why do they make music that people can relate to? It's so pointless, to me, to listen to music. It just makes me melancholy.

I just want to get away from my life, not be reminded of it. Off all the hardships, the ache, the pain, and the heinous crimes.

WHY??

_Giving in to what has got me  
Feeling claustrophobic, scarred  
Severed me from all emotion  
Life is just too fucking hard  
SNAP! Your face was all it took  
Cuz this need ain't doin' me no good  
Fall on my face, but can't you see?  
This fucking life is KILLING ME!_

I've been asked how I deal with my job. It's not my job, it's my life.

I can't help it, I've had to be suspended before for too much Over Time.

Alex understands my reasons for justifying my working schedule.

She understands, she loves.

I love her, so very much.

_Tearing me inside  
_

_Too far gone, I'm catatonic  
Leaving you to criticize  
Empty shell and running naked  
All alone... lobotomized  
Back and forth between my hang-ups  
It isn't easy to be hated  
Where do ya go? Whaddya do?  
Simpleton, impromptu, crazy eight  
I never cared, not once  
Gotta get away! _

_Tearing me inside _

I wasn't promised a thing  
YOU KEEP MOCKING ME  
But you will never again  
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT - AFTER YOU'RE GONE

GONE... 

**The pulse I need is slowly fading until I've lost it all.**

* * *

R&R! please. The first song is Up and Gone by Hoobastank. The second song is Tattered and Torn by SlipKnot. Finally, the third song is Me Inside by SlipKnot. I wanted to make this an emotional chapter, hence Elliot's almost-unexpected death. I'm going to get flames for this, but oh well... it's my story. Just so you know, I really don't care for Elliot that much. Well, obviously, lol. Alex is going to give me shit over this chappy next week at school... lol. Hope you enjoyed... well, not Elliot's death – that'd be too cold. Happy Turkey Day.

**I swear, if Olivia dies in that upcoming car crash then I'm never watching L&O: SVU again, well... old reruns only. I doubt Wolf'll kill off one of the main characters... that'd be the end of his show. Besides, wasn't Elliot and Olivia supposed to kiss this season?(ALEX NEEDS TO COME BACK!!!) I'm not sure--don't kill me if I'm wrong.**


	10. Fabricated Dream

Pieces Chapter 10

**Title: Pieces Chapter  
****Author: OLIVIAplusALEX4eva  
****Summary: Alex gets a call that she has been waiting for. It took two years but she's back and hoping to rekindle her relationship with a certain brunette. Will it happen? Will they both get over their insecurities? Lot more chapters to come! Contains Femmeslash.  
****Rating: Rated M for Mature  
****Genre: Drama / Romance  
****Warnings: Contains femmeslash between two consenting adult females.  
****Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine... just wishful thinking on my part.**

* * *

**Alex's P.O.V.**

I hear a key scratching at the doorknob clumsily. I get up hastily and unlock the door, opening it slowly to reveal you.

You look so tired, so exhausted.

You walk swiftly passed me to the open window on the other side of our apartment. You stand there hugging your arms closely to your torso, mindlessly looking out of the window down at the city below.

I cautiously walked up to you and grabbed your shaking hand.

"What else happened, Liv? How is Elliot?" I asked, dreading the answer.

You sigh, "El died unexpectedly in his sleep. There was nothing they could do, they said; it was impossible to hinder."

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry," I murmur, running my thumb over your hand. _  
_

An uncomfortable silence consumed us hungrily.

The seconds were ticking by and I could feel the weight of each one...

I didn't relinquish my hold on my lover's trembling hand. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No. I don't think I could keep food down even if I tried." Your voice sounded perilously close to tears.

After a few awkward minutes, I pull you by the hand, leading you to our bedroom so you can rest. "C'mon, baby. Let's go."

You follow me like a lost puppy dog, wiping your wet cheeks.

As we're undressing I could feel your eyes drilling a hole in my bare back. I look behind me and see you staring at me with rapt appreciation. You licked your already wet lips, a perfectly sultry gesture; the effect went straight to my quivering, bare thighs.

"Baby, no. You don't need that now. What you need is to rest; we can play later," I try to persuade you but to no avail.

"Please, Alex. I want to fuck. I-I need to f-forget these long twenty-four hours," you rasp out.

I make note that you said you want to fuck, not make love. I know this'll probably be rough and not gentle and tender like it usually is, and I don't mind. "Are you sure? I don't want to take advantage of you when you're emotional like this."

You give me a slight nod of your head and close the distance between us in two long strides. You take my face in your hands and shove your tongue in my mouth roughly. I reciprocate the gesture automatically. We stand there, our tongues dueling for control, for dominance.

I broke the intense kiss only to see your overtly confused expression in response. "Wha–"

"Shh, hold on, babe," I interrupt, putting my index finger over your plump lips. You unexpectedly wrap your wet lips over the tip of my finger, gently sucking it into your mouth.

You lick and suck my finger slowly, sultrily. You stop after a few minutes of sexily sucking.

I smile wistfully and wipe the remaining moisture across your jaw. You laugh throatily while I kiss it away.

"You're perpetually horny," I mumble against your jaw.

"You're one to talk, Lexi," I hear you moan.

I pull away completely, quirking an eyebrow accusedly at the annoying nickname, and lead you to our unmade bed.

I push you down so that you're laying on the bed and I carefully climb on top too. I give your aching center a fierce, deliberately slow, tongue-bathing and move up to kiss you deeply, letting you taste your own arousal on your lips.

"Alex, I-I need you i-inside me," you whimper over and over again.

You're whimpering my name, whimpering for me to make love to you. How can I resist this?

I hear it in your voice, the slight moan in our tangled, meshed kiss; it being love and adoration.

I hover above you, all the while my hand following an imperceptible trail down your hot, trembling body to your throbbing center. I'm trying to focus my attention on giving you pleasure but it's hard to do when you're suckling on my exposed, dangling breast.

I arch downward, bending like a tight-pulled bow, trying to force more of my breast into your mouth at the same time I'm pumping two fingers into you rhythmically. You comply immediately, adding more pressure to your sucking.

We simultaneously moan our appreciation as we continue to try to build friction betwixt us, trying to give each other the pleasure of sweet climax.

I feel your orgasm before it rips through your body; your center's muscles tensing around my intruding fingers. At the same time a hot white flash hits me and I too begin to ascend to the sweet, inevitable pleasure.

* * *

**Olivia's P.O.V.**

My vision contorted and the colours bled together until everything became gray. The outline of your face blurred together, slowly fading until my perceptual vision ran black altogether.

A white flash ripped through my head; abruptly the colours of life reverberated back into sight. The pain shooting through my head is fickle and fleeting, thank God.

I heard a shuffling of feet against a tiled floor. I looked up from my white gown and the white covers that were draped over my gowned body only to see Alex's face and a little girl's, my guess to be about four or five.

Alex gasped and reached for my hand, clutching it to her heaving chest. "You're awake!"

"Yeah, at the most inopportune time," I grumbled, holding my head.

I could see tears pooling in your glassy eyes before they started to trickle down you already tear-stained cheeks.

"Are we at a hospital? What happened?"

You sniffle and reply at a soft whisper, "Yeah, baby. You were attacked with a baseball bat from behind. Doctor Margaret (remember Elliot's doctor? hehe) said there was moderate blunt-force trauma to your head. You were in a coma for about a week. They caught the sonovabi–" you begin but cut yourself off when you remember the innocent child standing beside you. "They caught him. I prosecuted him and he got 15 years for attempted murder of a police officer and tresspassing on someone else's private property," you finish with a tight-lipped smile.

I bring your hand to my lips and kiss your knuckles. You smile broadly when you introduce me to the mystery child.

"Olivia, baby. This is Camryn, honey. You remember her, right? From the adoption agency two years ago?" And suddenly memories of all three of us came flooding back like a wave colliding into me.

"Camryn! Sweetie, come here!" I plead as the girl holds up her arms to Alex who picks her up and sits her on the bed beside me. I sit up, bracing myself against the big fluffy pillows and gather her into my arms, sitting her on my lap. I kiss her forehead after she settles into my lap. I smile down at her, looking into her distinct blue eyes, sifting my fingers through her mahogany hair. "Hi, Momma!" the girl screams in delight. I give her my lop-sided grin, "Hey, babygirl."

Glancing up at Alex, I murmur, "Sometimes I think she's our biological child. She looks just like us."

You laugh and bend down to place a chaste kiss to my lips, "Yeah, well. In my eyes, she is our biological child."

You no longer finish your sentence when Kathy walks in. She looks over at me and screams, "You're finally awake!"

I expect Elliot to walk in behind her but then I remember his rape and attempted suicide, not to mention death. "I'm really sorry about El's death, Kathy. He was a great man, a great partner," I mumble apologetically.

Kathy's face is of pure confusion, "Death? Honey, he didn't die."

"He didn't?"

"No. The only time he's been in the hospital this month is to visit you."

I looked behind Kathy and see Elliot walk through the threshold. My face is of pure shock, "Elliot! You're not dead!"

He looks at me, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion, "I'm not," he confirms.

"I dreamed that you went away to Witness Protection, Alex. And Camryn died of cancer. Elliot got raped and attempted suicide, afterward dieing at a hospital, his doctor's name was Margaret."

"Honey, _you're_ doctor's name is Margaret. You must've heard rivulets of our conversations while you were in the coma because we were talking to Margaret about a case you and Elliot were working on. The one with the little girl Camille had Leukemia and her mother Ellen was raped and died consequently on the way to the hospital. We were discussing the fact that Camille had to go into Witness Protection to get away from her mother's attacker. Baby, it was all a dream," Alex explained.

I looked around the room at my family and sighed contentedly. This was how life is supposed to be. Being surrounded by your family and loving each other. I kissed Camryn's forehead and Alex's lips. Hugging them to my chest, I kissed their heads. "I love you two," I whispered into their hair.

* * *

Read and Review please. **This is the end, it is finally complete.** How can I let Elliot die for real?! I had you guys going! HAHA, you thought I'd actually kill off a great detective?... even though he's a man... Anyways, thanks for sticking with me throughout the whole story. Shout-outs to pheobe-halliwell-0777 and Haldir's Heart and Soul. 

If you didn't get the end of my story just ask me in my review... I always reply back to every review I am sent so I'll explain it to you better. Keep in mind that I wrote this chapter at 2:30 in the a.m. so there might be some mistakes but that doesn't justify it, I know.


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